First Time Being Called A N****R

I’m not naive about what’s going on in today’s world when it comes to People of color (POC), I see the videos, pictures, social media and the news everyday and my heart breaks every single time I see another black man or woman being shot or beaten up because of their skin color.

my sister and I was leaving the gym may 2017 around noon, and we decided to visit another store beside the gym before heading home. So as we were leaving the store and driving to come out of the mall parking lot we had to stop because this guy was trying to get out of his spot to leave, but as he was trying to turn his car around to drive straight out, this lady in a car came speeding in his direction beeping and telling him to hurry up. at this point my sister and I was just sitting and waiting for the way to be cleared, and as we were waiting a delivery truck was beside our car delivering items to a store that was outside the mall (it’s attached to the mall but to enter the store you would have to do so from outside). As we sat there waiting for the way to be clear, before we knew it the guy was gone and this lady speeds up in between our car and the delivery truck with no way of passing through, so at this point she’s clearly mad in life and start yelling at my sister to hurry up and move the car, and my sister replies saying “lady calm down, I’m not going to move because you tell me to” and how “their isn’t enough space” she wasn’t interested in hearing what my sister had to say to her so my sister ended up driving off and with doing so my side mirror bounce her side mirror leaving a scratch on hers and mine, so she starts yelling “hey you hit my car.” At this point my sister has driven off and I hear my sister say “look at her using her white privilege” because at this point this lady jumped out her car and called on  security guards and others to try and stop us, we were still at the entrance of the mall but at a red light, so as the light turns green and we start driving off  from the corner of my eye I see her and the security guard running towards our car. While driving away we decided to turn back and handle the situation better..oh boy we were wrong!

We get out the car and she starts going on about how we scratched her car..and I said to one of the security guards “can I tell you what happen at the side please” he said “sure” so I start talking and told him how “we were trying to leave and a guy in front of us was trying to turn his car to drive straight out and she came speeding in” when I said the part about her “speeding in” she got mad and starting going off on me and I did the same, because your not going to yell at me and call me names and I’m going to just sit back and take it, she was saying “I’m a little girl” “I need to go to school and get an education” “I need to go get a job” and I was just calling her “stupid” and how “she needs to shut up because she doesn’t know me” and at this point a security guard was standing between us, and as we were going back and forth she says “you NIGGER!” at this point I was in total shock and disbelief! and I sure did react by starting to go off and tearing up and all she was doing as I was reacting was looking me straight in my eyes while smirking and nodding  her head up and down. I was so angry and hurt..the Manager from our gym stepped in and said to me “hey come over here let me talk to you” this was his away of getting me to remove myself from the situation. He calmed me down by talking to me and just encouraged me with positive words that I needed to hear in that moment because he seen and heard everything.

When she called me the N word, I was angry and in that moment I felt like I wasn’t who I know I am, I felt like something was stripped away from me. I was really confused also because as my sister and I was driving back in I seen this lady talking to a black guy and smiling up in his face and by the body language it seem like it was someone she knew. So when she called me that word and I looked back I was confused, but I know for sure a racist will smile up in your face and have some disgusting shit to say behind our backs, they will smile and sleep with us but when they are ready they will say some terrible things and show you how racist they really are. After speaking with the gym manager and then the police officer (by law when two vehicle has come into contact; big or small you have to exchange information, plus she claimed she felt unsafe so she went to the community  police station located in our mall)..I knew I came out that situation the winner and not the loser she thought I was going to be, I had people standing beside me that was able to let me know I am not what she says I am, and that I am a strong and smart individual. One thing I do know is she’s the real problem and that she is a very miserable close minded individual.

I’m not a N****r, I’m a winner.

Author: JLetstalk

I, Johnnique Johnson, I'm a full time college student studying to be a counselor/advocate for (AWCCA) and living in Toronto,ON. I always wanted to start my own blog and decided to finally accomplish that goal, I love writing whatever is on my mind at the time and what better way to express myself and hear from others.

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